Should I be feeling pressured???

Had an extended family gathering last Saturday. OH held one of my cuzzie's baby and I hold another. Everyone was telling me we should get our own. Hmmm hello.... it's not like we can get it from the vending machine.... What's with everyone? Everyone was behaving like it's my bloody effing fault. Hello... OH owed me ove $1K. He can't even support himself let alone another being. I'm the one who's paying for all the kitties which in fact, OH was the one who wanted a cat in the 1st place.



Deep down, yeah I do want one but God is saying I should not have one. Seemed that I have a grown baby in my own house and another baby in another house. I'm mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially burdened by all these babies that I don't really need another baby in my life. Not now not ever. If it's fated that I'm to have a baby.... I would have already gotten one years and years ago. If OH made noise, I will just shove the IOUs in his bloody effing face.



I've got cuzzies who had babies even before they got married. Well... not exactly had babies... they made babies... my sister has a child which she could not care less. My SIL dun care for her kids' education... Millions and millions of children who are born with complete sets of parents are totally ignored by them. One baby from me cannot make a difference in the world.



Plus I'm already 33. Even if I have one say when I'm 35. I'll be like 55 when he/she finished poly. OMG! I'm not rich like my mum. OH.... well.... he'll be like sponging off me still.



Get me out of this pressure cooker. That's why I HATE family gatherings. For goodness sake, why can't all of you be happy with my lifestyle. Why must all of you make me conform?



AARRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!



BTW, I love my private life with my own 'kids'. They are the best. Mummy love you my babies.... MUAH MUAH MUAH